Saturday, August 27, 2005

Those guys (you don't want to be)

There are two guys that come into the library that are perhaps two of the dumbest people on the face of the earth. Think Bill Pullman in Ruthless People. One is a well-dressed guy from Pakistan who, if you took a looked at him, you wouldn't think he was a complete dolt. The other is is tall basketball-bellied doofus who always has stains on his shirts. He looks like an idiot. Think Alfred E. Neuman with really bad teeth.

The well-dressed knucklehead cannot grasp the concept of highlighting text and printing that text. Without using hyperbole I can honestly say he has been shown at least five times by each of the eight staff members we have how to highlight text in his emails in his Hotmail account and send that selected text to the printer. Language issues aside, I think he should get it by now.

The tall doofus one spends most of his time searching for wives in South and Central America and has at different times claimed to be a semi-pro golfer and a pilot and has announced his impending marriage several times. He can barely use a PC and I doubt he has a drivers license, let alone being allowed to take to the air and he may have actually been engaged several times but I am sure the marriages were called off soon after the first physical meeting. He always has a mouthful of spit and it sticks to the shards of his teeth like gooey cobwebs. Not pleasant to behold.

They both have one amazing talent, they can completely crash a computer more quickly than any two other people on the planet. What makes their talent so unique is that our computers are virtually impossible to crash. They are completely locked down, nothing can be changed or downloaded yet these two consistently frazzle the brains of our PC's. It's like the machines don't work right when one of them is using them. The two special guys have started talking in the library and outside in the parking lot. They are becoming buddies. I swear, the first day I saw them standing in parking lot talking as cars passed them they would stall out and then fire back up as they rolled beyond their collective aura.

I can't help but wonder as Dumber and Slower have these serious powwows what kind of business they might start together and how quickly it would go belly up. That would be an office pool to start. I think I would choose 'real estate' and 'ten days.'

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