Monday, December 20, 2004

Holy crap, an update

There is a very good reason I haven't updated recently: My life is in the toilet and I hate everybody. Also, it's cold out. It's hard to type while wearing mittens. It's so cold that even my stand-offish cat has been crawling into my bed at night. What happened to that goddamn snow they said might show up last night? I was very prepared to not go to work today.

I had my muffler changed Saturday. My old muffler had a giant hole in it and the noise was ruining my hearing and I am sure I've been sucking nasty fumes for the last couple of months. Carbon monoxide poisoning: another reason not to blog.

Saturday night I watched that awesome Panthers/Falcons football game. The Panthers lost a heartbreaker in overtime and I was crushed. I was incapable of blogging after that.

A lady at work let me borrow a video-taped copy of the ESPN movie about the late Dale Earnhardt called "3." It's called three because he had three nipples like Krusty the Clown. It's funny how the world works sometimes. I'll watch the movie until it pisses me off. I'm curious to see how far into it I get. My first NASCAR memory of my first live race is of Dale Earnhardt so it won't take much to offend me. I think if Jesus was born today he'd be the son of a NASCAR tire changer, don't you?

I see our president today acknowledged that the bombings in Iraq may be having some sort of an effect. You mean, like, killing people, oh wise one?

I bought the gift for the person I am the secret Santa for at work today. My giftee is an older lady who works in circulation. I went to the Bedford Toys at Park Road Shopping center and bought her a tube of small anatomically kinda correct frogs and turtles. After I got her her gift to her with a little subterfuge I was told by my delivery gal that the giftee once had a pet turtle and she was thrilled by the gift. Funny how things work out sometimes when you fly by the seat of your pants.

Until Christmas day I am not venturing out of my home unless it is to go to work. While driving around this afternoon the traffic was fucking ridiculous. While I was leaving the shopping center some guy tried to pull around me as I was making the left turn onto Park Road because I had the audacity to stop for on oncoming vehicle. Some fuck on his cellphone almost pulled into traffic on Colony while leaving Southpark Mall and a lady was parked in front of the library in the middle of the no parking zone conveniently blocking all the parking lot traffic. The self centeredness of people who are driving never ceases to shake me to my soul.

A couple of weeks ago two friends of mine got married. I saw them Friday at the Comet Grill and, in earshot of his new wife, I asked the male if he was feeling boxed in and trapped yet. Her reaction was priceless, "Hey! I'm right here! Jesus, Ed." Something like that. All in good fun, believe me.

I'd rather string my dingle berries into a christmas tree ornament than watch another person play a video game. Know that.

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