After spending the last year and a half as a bus rider I had become used to feeling very safe while traveling the streets of Charlotte. I was always confident that if I was on the bus and it wrecked there was a pretty good chance the bus was going to outweigh just about any vehicle on the street. Maybe a tractor trailer, a fire truck or a humvee may weigh more but that is about it.
Now I am driving around in a fairly small Honda Civic. The first few days of driving I felt very vulnerable. Every SUV that tailgated me made me much more nervous than I remember being before. Maybe it's because there are more out there now and those driving are idiots so it's happening more frequently. I can't be sure.
Here's a quick list of why those that use giant SUV's for their urban commuting should be murdered in front of their children and surviving parents and grand parents:
1) If an SUV is in front of you at a stoplight you cannot see the stoplight.
2) If they pull up next to you at a stop sign you can't see anything but a giant tire.
3) SUV's are big and those that drive them have no idea how to manouver them in parking lots.
4) Parking spaces aren't that fucking big, chief.
5) On interstate going 80 they handle about as well as a elephant on ice skates.
I swear to god, the next time I look in my rearview mirror and all I see is the grill of an SUV I am going to Wal-Mart, buy a shotgun and go on a rampage. Why can't you fucks drive condsiderately? And get off the phone.
I just received my copy of Al Franken's new book at the library. I have read a few chapters and it is funny funny funny. Al kills me.