Fuck Jerry Seinfeld
I got very excited when I heard that Jerry Seinfeld was going to be playing an extra show in Charlotte since his first one sold out so quickly. Then I checked the prices of a ticket. Are you ready for this? $45-$75. Forty five bucks to watch one person tell jokes for an hour!? He obviously doesn't live in the same world we do. How can he justify to himself such an outrageous charge? He doesn't even have guitar techs for chrissakes. I paid forty bucks for the KISS reunion tour in 1996 and they at least blew a bunch of shit up and there was four of them and a huge road crew.
I blame this crap on the Eagles. Remember that Hell Freezes over tour a few years ago? It was the first big tour to charge $90 for the good seats becasue an Eagles reunion was "special." I remember going to bed every night for weeks praying that this tour would flop like no other tour ever had. Unfortunately in was a rousing success and those creeps made millions and now every act that think it can fill a room charges as much as possible. Fuck that. Give me Mojo Nixon for five bucks in a room full of drunks. Iggy Pop for $20 in a half full club. The Seinfelds and the Eagles of the entertainment INDUSTRY will never get a dime of my money.
Ooops, wait a minute. Seinfeld's been on television. What the fuck am I doing? He's been on TV! Please, don't tell my TV I was bad mouthing one if its favorite sons. It may ground me. You know, the price of Jerry's show is the same as my cable bill. Maybe Jerry sends researchers out there and finds out what the average cable bill is. He figures, hey, if they pay this much to watch me in syndication they can sure as shit afford to pay that much to watch me for one night live.