Friday, November 08, 2002


When you buy a frozen pizza it comes with a piece of cardboard beneath that conforms perfectly to the shape of the pizza. Naturally the instructions for preparing the pizza always remind you to remove the cardboard before sitcking the pizza in the goddamn oven. What purpose does the cardboard serve? The fwiggin' pizza in frozen! A frozen pizza doesn't need this superfluous piece of cardboard in order to stay flat. It's frozen! Ever kick a frozen dog turd? it doens't need cardboard to retain its form. I think they just get a kick out the knowledge that their useless piece of cardboard is starting housefires all over the world.

Please note that I did not start a fire tonight but I have stuck more than one frozen pizza in the oven without detatching it from the cardboard bottom. I have never had a fire start from this oversight but it is a bitch to seperate a completely cooked pizza from an equally toasted piece of goddamn cardboard.

This bullshit is blogging at its finest. Eat your heart out Gary Trudeau.

Remember to always cook frozen food completely. It's the only way to be sure that you have fully sterilized the mouse feces on your food.

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