Monday, October 14, 2002

Let's get the word out

A couple of years ago I started a website devoted to a regular caller to telephone reference. We call her Evil Antique Lady. I thought I would mention the website because traffic had died down recently. It's all about the traffic, baby. I must state that every question on this website is real. It would be impossibleto make up these questions. You would have to stab yourself in the forehead with a steel spike in order to come up with questions like these. I thought I would mention the page just in case you haven't been there. It's worth a look. You will be amazed.

I have a love/hate relationship with the Evil Antique Lady. Ok, maybe it's a tolerate/hate thing. I guess I should explain what she is. You really can't acquire a full appreciation for what she is by looking at her dumb questions. The questions could have been asked by any run of the mill idiot over a period of time. This person get her hands on worthless pieces of junk. She must go to yard sales, flea markets and she may dumpster dive. She acquires a particular worthless piece of junk and, through her calls to us, tries to convince herself that what she possesses is collectible. I guess that's not entirely true, she is already convinced that what she has is valuable, she just wants us to confirm that fact. Also, the item in question cannot merely be collectible or even valuable it has to be a lost treasure that is priceless. Se absolutely refuses to think at all. She asked once which of two baseball players were older. I tried an experiment with that question by giving her the birthdate and birth year of each player. She then axed for clarification rather than digesting the data. She is the devil.

I would be willing to bet that there are vendors at flea markets in this surrounding area that save stuff just for her. I bet when she comes waddling through a flea market there are vendors whose stomachs fill with butterflies as they see another chance to fulfill their only reason for existing, making a few bucks and fleecing a mark.

This last weekend was Lennyfest for me, Wendell and Chris. Lenny Federal was playing at the Comet Grill on Friday and Saturday. Friday he did the acoustic thing with John Wicker and another guitarist, Bobby, whose last name I will insert later. Since I have been sick I hadn't touched liquor in about ten days. I accidently got toasted Friday night and pretty much wasted Saturday morning and afternoon laying on the couch, holding my head. I guess my tolerance was low and I had a little too much fun. I did get to see a two-part episode of Justice League on the Cartoon Network. Whoever is responisble for that cartoon really nails down the personalities of Batman and Superman. I don't want to dork out on you but I love me a good superhero cartoon. I didn't have much else I was capable of doing, anyway. Might as well watch cartoons.

2nd Floor Bathroom Aromas

Today's delicate homeless ass stench reminded me of an old leather boot that had been pissed on and then stored inside the rotting carcass of a deer for a month.

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