Friday, October 18, 2002

Chatting with the department of labor

There's a guy up in Raleigh who is an elevator inspector and he calls us for telephone number of various buildings in town so he can contact the businesses inside those buildings. I guess he wants to tell them that the elevator inspector is on the way and they best clean up them elevators real good. I talked to him a few minutes ago and since he is from the department of labor he told me to "have a safe workday." Which state government department has the duty of wishing you a safe weekend? Would that be the department of transportation?

They be divine

I was just chatting to Barbara and I was trying to come up with a word that would describe the majority of the callers to telephone reference. I think the word that best describes those that call telref is: Christ-like.

What to do when you die

Hey, do you treasure your loved ones? Do you consider your dead spouse to be a gem? A diamond in the ruff? Then looky here!. Barbara just said if you once had your spouse wrapped around your finger now you can recreate that relationship after their demise by wearing them on your finger.

You know, I really am surprised no one has yet made diamonds out of a celebrity and auctioned them off. I bet when founding member of KISS dies they will do
just that. I am sure they will do their best to make money until the bitter end. They have marketed every other aspect of themselves this is a natural progression. You can buy a KISS coffin, why not purchase some fucking KISS carbon?

A step in the right direction

We all know that before he was caputured, tortured and then crucified (which is dying by torture), Jesus had a last supper with his apostles. Since the Catholic church has recreated this vinous sharing continuously for two millenia it touches something deep within us. Before the Romans come and get me I want to celebrate a last orgy. There's something worthy of transubstantiation.

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